Love Can Blam
by Sword27
Summary: Well...the Inquisition will probably kill me for this so I'll just leave the summary to you guys. Oh and here's the original post from /tg/ : /archive/6905552/ Rated M for Violence and Sexual Content. Reader's digression is advised. (But face it, we all know that you guys will still read this. You know you will you damn heretic XD)
1. Love Can Blam

**Note: I DO NOT OWN THIS FANFIC. To see the original copy, please direct your attention to the summary where I added the link to this hereti- _oi who allowed the_** ** _ecclesiarchy here?_**

Love Can 'Blam'

The artillery tore into the earth and created a firestorm as far as the eye could see. Guardsman Serghar Lethe stumbled across the broken ground of no-man's land, the enraged shouts of Commissar Horasho quickly swallowed by the thunderous noise of the all encompassing explosions. He'd done it. After ten years of service in the Guard, four of those with the Nihotosk 34th Infantry, he'd finally committed the ultimate sin; abandoning his post. Running from the enemy in a brazen display of cowardice, dodging the vengeful las shots of the Commissar as he fled into the firestorm. Guilt welled up inside him even as he continued his terrified flight through the broken terrain. But what else was he meant to have done? Any second now one of the friendly basilisks was going to drop a shell right into the crater where Fourth Platoon was sheltering. He was far better off trying to escape the fire zone. For the first time in eleven years, though, he was free. He hoped it was worth it.

They'd been fighting Tau. It had been going poorly, to say the least. Whilst the agile enemy tanks and battle suits had been slaughtering the bulky Imperial Armour all along the road, the infantry had been attempting to break through the Tau's lines in the muddied fields to the east of the causeway. For ten weeks. Something had given, however, and suddenly the Tau and Imperial lines ceased to exist. There were enemies everywhere, along with friendlies, with no clear line of battle or indication of which way the fight was leaning. HQ had panicked, insofar as Serghar could tell. They'd sent out a blanket vox message thirty minutes ago to all units telling them to pop green smoke so that the spotters could plan out fields of fire for the banks of artillery several kilometres away from the confused mess that the frontline had become. The idea was that the Guard units would batten down, protected from the barrage by the smoke signals, and the precision artillery would destroy the enemy. Fine in theory, with one small problem; they hadn't been issued with green smoke, or smoke canisters of any kind. So there weren't any safe zones.

As Serghar ran, he realised through the fog of war and explosions that the terrain seemed familiar. He knew he was running parallel to the 'line', and felt a moments disorientation as he tried to figure out why it all looked familiar. Then it hit him. He spotted the entrance to an abandoned communications dug out; this had been the front line, where Fourth Platoon had been. Four weeks ago. They hadn't even managed to advance more then a metre in a whole month. Serghar laughed hysterically, making a beeline towards the dug out. The entire war was a joke! At least now he would be safe. He'd take shelter, wait out the fire storm and then emerge, linking up with friendly forces as, he suspected, the only survivor of the entire battalion. He closed the distance between him and the dug out, dodging around the occasional near-miss of artillery. His luck held out... ...until he was just outside the dugout. A shell smashed into the dirt a few metres away from him. The earth seemed to lift beneath his feet and tossed him into the air, hurling him headlong into the dugout. Serghar managed to roll so that he wouldn't break his neck, but struck the dirt wall of the rough bunker hard enough to cause a concussion and break a rib. He grunted, falling to the floor. He was safe. Then, just before he passed out, he looked up and saw the Tau.

Serghar drifted back into conciousness. He was sitting against one of the side walls of the dugout, his flak armour sitting nearby, along with most of his kit. He looked around blearily, then snapped wide awake as he remembered the Tau. He looked around and spotted it immediately; the Xenos was squatting on the far side of the dugout, staring at him with an unreadable expression on it's blue face. Serghar glanced around for a weapon – there were none. He'd dropped his lasgun so as to be able to run faster when he'd made a break for it, and his laspistol... His laspistol was sitting in the dirt next to the Tau. Serghar swallowed nervously. He glanced down and realised that his chest didn't hurt; white bandages were wrapped around his naked torso and a xenos looking device was attached to the spot where he'd felt the rib break. "You...you did this?" he asked. The Tau looked at him blankly, cocking it's head slightly. Serghar gestured to the bandages. "You healed me. Why?"

The alien seemed to understand. It uttered something in it's alien tongue; Serghart winced at the heresy of it, recognising only one word; 'Tau'va'. It was the same phrase the Fire Warriors shouted during close quarter engagements, some kind of battle cry or oath, he supposed. This Tau didn't seem to be using it in that context, however. And it's voice was...different. The Fire Warriors generally seemed to have deeper, throatier tones whilst this one had a lighter voice. Serghar took a good look at the alien; it suddenly dawned on him that it was smaller, slighter then the soldiers he'd faced before. It wasn't wearing the heavy armour either; it had some kind of bullet proof vest, of similar design to their normal carapace armour. But it was clear that this Xenos wasn't a warrior; it had to be some kind of healer, or civilian. He could sort of read it's expression, too...it looked wary, scared. Of him? The alien suddenly gasped, and Serghar's muscles tensed. But it wasn't attacking; it put a hand to it's side. Serghar noticed the pale cyan blood staining the loose grey tunic there. The alien was wounded.

"Ah, hell..." he said, realising what he had to do; the alien had healed him, so he would heal the alien. Evidently whatever it had used on his broken ribs wouldn't work on a laceration, or something equally convoluted. He got to his feet unsteadily and fetched his first aid kit. He approached the alien. He was becoming adept at reading it's expressions; it looked, confused, then fearful. "Don't worry," he said, kneeling down next to the cringing alien. "I'll patch you up." Gently, carefully, he coaxed the alien into uncrossing it's arms and helping him to remove the body armour. As the flat panel of armour came away the shape of the alien's body was revealed; Serghar froze as he realised the Tau had...breasts. "Oh," Serghar said, surprised. "You're a girl Tau." The Tau muttered something in it's heathen tongue, glancing away. Serghar frowned, then shook his head and put the body armour aside.

"Ok," he said, lifting the grey tunic and revealing the jagged cut just above the Tau woman's hip. "Doesn't look too deep; probably hurts like hell though." He sprayed the wound with antiseptic after a moments hesitation; if the germ killing solution was deadly to Xenos he figured they would have weaponized it centuries ago. The Tau drew in a sharp, hissing breath as the solution hit the wound. "This may sting a bit." Serghar said belatedly. He then got out the needle and thread and quickly, neatly began suturing the wound. The Tau gritted her teeth throughout the ordeal, her three fingered hand gripping the loose grey pants she wore tightly and scrunching up the fabric. As he worked, Serghar found himself occasionally glancing at the Tau's face. They weren't that strange to look at, once you became accustomed to it all. The blue skin was just a colour; the reddish hair was similar to a humans, tied back in a practical pony tail just like a human female in the field would do.

As he finished carefully applied a dressing over the wound, pressing it firmly into place with the palm of his hands, he glanced at her eyes. They were surprisingly human; or at least, no different to a human's eyes. Maybe eyes were the same in all species? He'd never really looked into an alien's eyes before. She suddenly looked around and met his gaze. Serghar felt his heart skip a beat; she seemed to be staring directly into his soul. A few moments later he realised he was still holding her waist, still crouched next to her, their bodies close together. He became aware of the warmth of her; the exotic, almost spicy smell that permeated from her skin. He licked his lips nervously, still sort of lost in her eyes. She was making no effort to move away; they sat there, eyes locked. Loco-buri, he suddenly thought. The sheer heresy of it made his skin tingle; he'd never really believed the rumours, or even considered the possibility. It was a shooting offence to even utter the actual phrase that the acronym stood for, let alone - She kissed him.

Her mouth was soft and warm. A strange, indescribable flavour filled Serghar's mouth as her tongue skilfully massaged his own, her mouth locked passionately with his as her hand grasped the back of his neck. After a moment's confusion and shock he returned the kiss, responding eagerly. After what seemed an eternity they broke apart, each of them breathing heavily. "I can't believe I'm doing this...' Serghar breathed, gazing into the Tau's eyes. She smiled, saying something he couldn't understand. The tone was seductive, saucy. He felt himself becoming hard as she leaned back in. They kissed again. Serghar suddenly let himself go. He was already a dead man, a heretic; he'd left his post, fled the field of battle and then aided a filthy xenos. And this felt right. It felt right to kiss her, to run his hand up her side, to massage her breast gently through the shirt she wore. Her breathing got faster. She broke off the kiss and disentangled her arms from him. For a moment he was concerned, but she pulled her tunic off, revealing the magnificent blue breasts.

A huge grin crept across Serghar's face. He took a firm hold of one breast and leaned in, suckling on the nipple of the other one. The Tau moaned and clutched his shoulders, holding him tighter to her as he teased and kneaded her breasts. After a while she pulled him back up to kiss her mouth again. Serghar felt her hand slip down below his waist, then slide up along his thigh to his crotch. She murmured something in Tau, tugging at his belt buckle. Serghar grinned; they were mastering inter-species communications at a record pace. He stood, the Tau girl shifting to her knees in front of him, her eyes lit up with excitement and anticipation. He undid his belt buckle and quickly pulled his pants down, his erect dick bobbing in the air as his pants released it. The Tau girls' eyes widened in shock, and a wicked smile split her lips as she muttered something in Tau, her tone appreciative. "You like that?" Serghar asked, grinning. "I thought you might."

In reply she took a firm grasp on Serghar's dick and put it in her mouth, moaning in surprised pleasure and beginning to suck. Serghar groaned as her warm mouth enveloped his cock, her slick tongue sliding over the head as she moved it in and out. He placed his hands on the back of her head, pushing himself deeper and deeper into her mouth. She resisted at first, but then relaxed, opening her throat. Serghar moaned as he hilted in her mouth, feeling the sensation of her xenos tonsils rubbing on the head as she swallowed reflexively. She wasn't gagging, either! He began to fuck her mouth, thrusting faster and faster whilst she moaned and touched herself through her pants, rubbing at her crotch excitedly. Serghar felt himself getting even harder, more excited. It was the best head he'd ever had! Abruptly he stopped, withdrawing from her mouth and dropping to his knees. "Time to take this to the next level!" he said, pushing her over onto her back.

He quickly relieved her of her pants, noticing her hooved feet for the first time. It didn't bother him as much as it might have just ten minutes ago; he was thoroughly reformed from being a run of the mill xenophobe. He pulled her panties off and beheld the revealed genitalia; she was sitting up on her elbows, watching him with wide eyes and a slightly pouted mouth, still breathing heavily. It was...different to a human's pussy. It was a pussy, no doubt about that, but there were subtle differences, the biggest being the upside down Y-shape the flaps made. But for the most part it was exactly like a pussy, right down to the engorged clitoris sitting proudly near the top of the gash. Serghar lowered his head, burying it between her thighs and began to lick, driving his tongue into the crevice with alacrity. The Tau moaned with pleasure and tangled her fingers into his hair, spreading her legs wider as he teased her clit with his tongue.

Her hips began to move slightly as he worked. She then started making humping motions, getting faster and faster as he licked harder and harder. The taste was sensational; like her mouth, it was a sort of indescribable zesty tang, but with a sort of minty edge to it. Serghar buried his head deeper, worker harder simply because of the delicious taste. Her hips were really bucking now, her squeals of pleasure echoed by the thunder of the artillery outside the dugout. The ground shook as she began to orgasm, wrapping her legs around Serghar's head and humping his face as he brought his hand up and shoved two finger straight into her vagina, sucking hard on her clit. She screamed as she climaxed, then relaxed. Serghar continued licking for a moment, the Tau eliciting a mumbled, half moaned sentence as she stroked his hair gently. Serghar lifted his face from her crotch and smiled, then crawled forwards.

She was immediately alert again, her eyes alive with desire as he manoeuvred his hips into position and placed the head of his cock at the entrance to her pussy. He felt a moment's hesitation, remembering all the Imperial propaganda; then it passed as he recalled he'd just shoved his fingers in and felt no teeth or acid. He thrusted gently forwards, pushing against the lips for a moment before they parted and his cock entered her. She moaned, throwing her head back and rolling her shoulders as he slid himself all the way in, right up to the hilt. All his doubts disappeared. It felt amazing; the minty freshness translated itself into a gentle, warm tingling that sent his desire into over drive. He began to fuck her, building a steady rhythm as she squealed and moaned. He grunted and gasped, leaning down and locking his lips onto one of her nipples.

She had her legs up in the air, hooves moving in little circles in time with her gasps and squeals as Serghar pounded her. Once again she began to build towards a climax; in an unbelievably short amount of time she was coming, orgasming hard as her back arched beneath him, pressing her groin into his as he kissed her passionately. Without pause Serghar withdrew. The Tau girl seemed to protest, frowning and babbling something in her language. Serghar just grinned and pulled her to her feet, spinning her around to face the back wall of the dug out. He pushed her forwards, bending her at the hips. She threw her arms out, resting her hands against the wall for balance and asking him something in Tau. His reply was to grab her hips, entering her from behind and resuming his hard fucking. She gasped, then began to moan again as he gripped her tightly and pounded her for all he was worth.

She was panting out something in her language as Serghar fucked her, some kind of oath or prayer. Serghar himself was grunting 'Oh my Emperor, oh sweet Emperor!" as he thrust, feeling himself beginning to build towards a climax. The Tau girl writhed and let out gasps of pleasure from her bent over position. She squealed as Serghar laughed and spanked her blue ass. She started to say something after a while, an insistent tone to her voice. Serghar frowned and slowed down. "What?" he asked. She pulled away from him and turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him. She said something again, then kissed him deeply. She turned him around so that his back was against the walls, pushing him down into a sitting position. She then straddled him, lowering herself onto his cock with a gasp of pleasure. Serghar let out a satisfied sigh, taking a hold on her tits as she began to rock back and forth, riding him slowly.

The Tau girl moaned gently, fucking him slowly, moving up and down on his shaft. Serghar buried his face in her chest, sucking hard on her breast as she began to move faster, her breathing getting heavier once more. Maybe this is real, Serghar thought. Maybe I've actually found the legendary Loco-buri, the greatest yet most sort after heresy of all time. She began to bounce harder, squealing with pleasure. Serghar felt himself approaching orgasm; his breathing became heavier and he could feel the come welling up inside him. He felt safe, suddenly. All the fear and oppression of the Imperium seemed to wash away as he looked up into the beautiful face of his Tau lover; everything was perfect. Loco-buri! He laughed, and the Tau girl laughed too, not understanding. That was fine; he'd teach her. They escape this planet, find somewhere that they could be together. He'd teach her Gothic; or maybe he'd learn Tau! They could have children, grow old together...

Loco-buri, indeed! The ancient and hated heresy that haunted the Guard incessently as rumour, hearsay and legendary tales. An idea of a world that wasn't so grim and dark; of an existence with aliens that didn't lead to death. And Serghar had found it! He was about to come. He could feel it, could feel her starting to tighten up and orgasm as well. He just wanted to say it; to utter the actual words that for hundreds of years had been an automatic death sentence for anyone even caught thinking them. The sheer heresy of it...the liberating release of it would be perfect as he came inside his Tau lover! He was right on the verge of coming, holding on hard to extend the pleasure as she continued to buck and bounce, squealing and shouting out Tau phrases.

Serghar smiled and decided it was time to say it and begin his new life, away from Commissars and battles and Emperor-bothering. He kissed the Tau girl deeply, then said "Love Can - "

BLAM!*

The Tau girl screamed, and a short second later Serghar did as well as the pain hit him. The las-bolt had passed clean through the middle of her lower back, penetrating her, severing her spine and vaporising Serghar's cock before punching out of her and into his stomach. "Oh, good shot, Commissar!" the trooper standing next to Commissar Horasho at the entrance to the dugout said. "That'll teach the Xenos fucking heretic!" Serghar gasped in pain as the Tau girl screamed and cried, her arms flailing against him. She was paralzyed from the waist down; she was a dead weight. He tried to move her off of him and reach a weapon, to help her, but the gutshot burned him and he fell back. He tried to say 'I love you!', but the Tau girl vomited a gout of blue and brown gore into his face.

Outside, Commissar Horasho and his adjutant walked away from the dugot. "Incinerate that heresy." he ordered the flame trooper, glancing around at the platoon surrounding him. They were standing with various expressions of disgust on their faces, looking towards the dugout where the screams were still echoing from. The bombardment had finished twenty minutes ago, and they'd set out to reclaim their former post. Finding the heretic had been lucky. "Always remember!" Horasho called out. "Love cannot, will not and never has bloomed!" He turned away, standing beside the platoon Lieutenant as the flame trooper approached the doorway, adjusting the nozzle on his weapon. "That really was an excellent shot, Commissar." the Lieutenant said. "I've always said, I aim..." Horasho pulled a pair of glare-shades from his greatcoat pocket and slipped them on. "...to please." "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" one of the troopers yelled as the flamer roared into life, erasing the heresy from existence.


	2. Epilogue

**This guy from /tg/ deserves around of applause for this super heresy piece XD**

Epilogue

As the platoon formed up and began to march towards the rally point, Commissar Horasho lingered for a moment, staring at the column of smoke still rising from the dugout. He fished an old, worn pic from his pocket and stared at it for a long moment. Loco-buri...LCB, or Love Can Bloom. The ancient Guard folk-tale that told of how Xenos and Humanity can get along, escaping the travails of war and entering into loving relationships. "Love Can Bloom..." Horasho whispered, stroking the picture of the Carnifex longingly. "Someday, I'll find you again." He slipped the pic back into his pocket and turned away, walking swiftly to catch up with the platoon.


End file.
